When Debbie Watson didn’t feel good about her life, she turned to food for a quick fix. Bingeing lessened her isolation and pain, but at the expense of her waistline. Only when she learned to love herself and accept love from others did she succeed in slimming down.
Debbie, of Durham, North Carolina, traces her struggle with bingeing to her father’s death when she was only 16. “I felt empty, and I tried to fill that emptiness with food,” she explains. When she went away to college 2 years later, her sadness and loneliness only got worse. “I gained about 25 pounds in my first couple of years away from home,” she says.
She managed to take off most of the extra weight while still in college, primarily by watching what she ate. As she got slimmer, her self-esteem improved. But it didn’t last.
By the time she reached her late twenties, Debbie was in the throes of another personal crisis. “Basically, I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, and I turned to food for comfort,” she says. “I’d eat until I physically hurt, then I’d lie on the couch until the pain went away.”
Looking back, Debbie attributes her overeating to her desire for control. “I felt powerless in so many areas of my life” she explains. “But I had power over food. I could do with it whatever I wanted.”
The repeated binges drove Debbie’s weight upward. By age 30, she reached 180 pounds. “I felt awful about myself, and that only |made me eat more,” she recalls. |
Debbie knew that she couldn’t continue her erratic eating habits without seriously undermining her health. Determined to get to the bottom of her binges, she decided to join Overeaters Anonymous (OA). There, she began to uncover why she used food to fill voids in her life. She learned better ways of coping with her sadness and loneliness, such as calling a friend on the phone. Most important, she recognized her own strengths and attributes, gradually accepting her value as a person.
It was a painful process, but other members of the OA group gave Debbie the support and understanding that she needed. “I’ll always be grateful to them for standing by me,” she says. “They not only helped me overcome my loneliness but they also taught me how to deal with food.”
What’s more, Debbie’s positive interactions with other OA members gave her the courage to cultivate friendships outside the group, with her neighbors and coworkers. “As I allowed people into my life, I felt less lonely and much happier,” she says. “I no longer needed food as an emotional crutch.”
With the OA group’s guidance and encouragement, Debbie began to transform her eating habits. As Debbie’s eating habits and self-image improved, her bingeing subsided. She was able to drop 30 pounds in about 8 months. Fifteen years later, she’s still holding steady at a healthy 150 pounds.
Debbie believes that self-acceptance gave her the incentive to adopt a healthier lifestyle. “A lot of overweight people feel bad about themselves, and they won’t let themselves love who they are,” she explains. “But once you love yourself, you can give love to others and receive love in return. That gives you a sense of fulfillment that you won’t ever get from overeating.”
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